A hospice nurse with two decades of experience has shared insights into the dying process, emphasizing that death is a natural and often beautiful experience that should not be feared. Penny Hawkins Smith, 62, a hospice quality assurance nurse, has been at the bedside of numerous individuals as they approach the end of life.
Common Experiences Near Death
According to Penny, people who are dying a natural death—such as from a terminal illness without life-prolonging treatment—tend to follow a similar pattern. They sleep more, become unresponsive, and eventually slip into a 'death coma' before passing. She notes that many patients experience visions and speak in 'travel language,' talking about going on a trip or a big adventure. These occurrences often happen close to death and provide comfort to the individual.
Penny explains: 'There are some psychological and biological changes and more paranormal activities. Patients can experience bed visions where they will see past loved ones or reach up towards the sky. They can also speak travel language where they will talk about one last trip or going on a big adventure.'
Normalizing Death for Families
Penny's primary role when someone enters hospice care is to normalize the dying process for both the patient and their family. She says many people arrive at hospice without realizing their life expectancy is short. 'Sometimes I have to be direct, I have had patients come in who are actively dying and the family haven't even been told that they have a few hours left. I normalise the dying process and let them know that what is happening is normal and that we see it all the time,' she said.
She encourages open conversation about death, noting that medical training often focuses on saving lives, making death feel like a failure. 'Death is seen as a failure, we have made it a taboo topic. The less you know about something, the more scary it can be which is why we don't want to talk about it. I love being able to educate families and normalize death - everyone is going to have to go through this experience.'
A Beautiful Process
Penny describes death as 'beautiful' and the most normal human experience. 'Death can be a beautiful thing but not if you are terrified with what you are seeing and thinking it isn't normal,' she said. She reassures families that there is nothing to worry about, as the dying process is a natural progression for those with terminal illnesses.
While each death is unique, Penny observes that natural death from a terminal illness follows a recognizable pattern. 'Usually on hospice, people don't die suddenly, for the most part, they sleep more and more. They will slip into an unresponsive state, go into a death coma and then die. That is the typical experience of people who are allowed to die a natural death.'
