Back in 2012, shortly after Rangers' financial implosion, comedian Kevin Bridges took to the stage and regaled a Glasgow audience with a conversation he had with a football fan from south of the border. 'He came up and said to me, "What's happening up there?"' Bridges recalled. 'I said: "Mate, Scottish football was a two-horse race. But we just lost a horse. It's now showjumping."'
When any club fails to look after its own financial affairs, there must be consequences. With their custodians entirely to blame for what happened, the Ibrox club spent four hard years in the lower leagues. While the Armageddon some senior administrators predicted never came to pass, even the most one-eyed supporter of other clubs would surely have privately conceded that part of the thrill had temporarily gone.
Rivalry and tribalism are what stoke the fire. Much as many fans naturally took joy from seeing Rangers laid low after financially overstretching, as far as the health of the game was concerned, the scenario from which Bridges made mirth was no laughing matter. Competition creates drama and uncertainty, stirring interest and being good for business.
In the four seasons in which Celtic landed the title without facing Rangers, the Parkhead club won it by margins of 16, 29, 17 and 15 points. Motherwell and Aberdeen each claimed second spot twice. The Dons briefly looked like challenging for the flag in 2015-16 only to fall away with six losses in their final eight games. Having paid their dues, Celtic's four titles in that period were as legitimate as any others in their history, but they arrived without much of the jeopardy normally associated with winning a championship.
When a lack of competition makes something feel almost inevitable, interest drops off. The fact that a tarpaulin sheet covered the upper tier of one stand of Celtic Park around that time said much. What those in charge of Scottish football (perhaps even some Celtic directors) would have given back then for Tony Bloom.
A decade on, uncertainty and interest abound, largely because of the billionaire buying into Hearts and aiming to disrupt things with the aid of Jamestown Analytics. A few weeks back, the Tynecastle club were leading a four-horse race. With Motherwell and Rangers floundering, the field looks like it has been reduced to two. But showjumping, it is not.
For those of us who are old enough to remember, this all feels like a throwback to the 1980s. In that decade, four different sides — Aberdeen, Celtic, Dundee United and Rangers — all became champions while Hearts came agonisingly close. The escalation of the Old Firm arms race in the post-Bosman era more often than not reduced the title race to a shoot-out between Celtic and Rangers. First to 100 points wins? Deal. Aside from harbouring hope of lifting one of the cups, it ensured the best any other side could aspire to was winning the phoney fight for third. Until now, that is.
As Hearts' season has progressed, talk of a title challenge has given way to a debate on when exactly they might get over the line. With each passing week, those attending games have grown more accustomed to the sight of foreign TV crews filming in Foundation Plaza. In the media centre, there are more unfamiliar faces carrying laptops. The prospect of Hearts winning the title for the first time since 1960 is a story stirring interest way beyond our borders.
For 41 years, the watching world has been conditioned to believe that the Old Firm's stranglehold on the big prize cannot be broken. If it does come to pass in the coming 10 days, it will be utterly seismic, and nothing will ever be quite the same again. There is no disputing the fact that Hearts are potentially nine years ahead of Bloom's schedule in achieving the unthinkable partly because of the failings of others. Since 1985, both Celtic and Rangers have endured poor seasons, but not at the same time.
Quite how the Parkhead club are still just about in contention this year is remarkable. A campaign which started with Brendan Rodgers at the helm has seen Martin O'Neill twice take charge either side of Wilfried Nancy's catastrophic 33 days in the hot seat. Punctuated by abysmal recruitment in two windows and an ongoing spat between the hierarchy and the fanbase, it is a wonder Celtic can still theoretically do the double. Even if O'Neill can secure three wins, the team will finish 10 points worse off than last season. No matter how all of this unfolds, from top to bottom, the club needs a clear out.
Rangers have played their part in the creation of a perfect storm. Way before Celtic presented the worst manager in their history to the room, they unveiled theirs. Russell Martin's first league game was a draw at Motherwell which resulted in him figuratively throwing his players under the bus. His last came after the same result at Falkirk saw a sit-down protest delay the departure of the actual bus. He won eight points from a possible 21. Danny Rohl steadied the ship, navigated it forward, then hit the rocks in the two opening post-split fixtures against Motherwell and Hearts. The toast of Rangers supporters just a few weeks ago, he is now a man under serious scrutiny.
While any rational assessment of the campaign to date would conclude that the general standard has been poor (see European results for further evidence), Hearts deserve immense credit for fully capitalising. In beating Rangers this week, McInnes' men moved onto 76 points, a club record. In seven games against the Old Firm, they have won five, drawn one and lost one. They are also undefeated in 18 games at Tynecastle.
Anyone seeking to talk down what they have achieved on the basis that neither Celtic nor Rangers have really fired would do well to remember Leicester's storied title triumph in England in 2016. That year saw Manchester City finish fourth with Manchester United fifth, Liverpool eighth and Chelsea tenth. Was the historic achievement of Claudio Ranieri's side any less laudable because of the shortcomings of others? Of course not. If you win it, you win it. So, if they get over the line, Hearts will also deserve every ounce of praise.
Happily, for the neutral observer, they are not quite there yet. A three-point lead and a superior goal-difference over Celtic is all very welcome, but there is a final home game against Falkirk to be sandwiched in between treacherous trips to Fir Park and Parkhead. Celtic have a vastly experienced manager at the helm in O'Neill. They still have players who have been here many times before plus home advantage in that final match.
Unlike most other European leagues where the winner has been a foregone conclusion for some time, we have nerves and uncertainty going down the final straight. The eyes of the world are on us. Let us hope it stays that way.
