What English word beginning with 'F' can be translated into Spanish as 'cinco' and German as 'funf'? Here's a clue... it's not 'fank you'.
Businessman Omar, 30, desperate to prove he had more between his ears than half a gallon of hair gel, served up some howlers on his way to being eliminated from the duplicitous quiz game Nobody's Fool. He guessed that Shakespeare wrote a play called The Taming Of The Bat, and named a punctuation mark beginning with 'A' as an apple.
The object of Nobody's Fool is to convince other players that you're smarter than the rest. Omar got off to a wretched start and never recovered. The show itself, airing the past three nights, also began badly but found its tempo after proceedings took a wholly unexpected and hilarious twist in the second episode. Now, it's steaming ahead and, while not every aspect works yet, it looks set for success.
Following the disaster of their previous two reality game shows based on deceit and double-crosses — The Neighbourhood and Genius Game — ITV bosses will be mightily relieved. The format is a blatant mix of The Weakest Link and The Traitors, against a country house backdrop straight out of Rivals. Even the presenters, Danny Dyer and Emily Atack, are both Rutshire stars... and, naturally, one of the games was played on a tennis court. Thankfully, both hosts kept their clothes on.
Players face quiz questions, in private and in the open, banking as much prize money as they can. Between rounds, they spread rumours about each other and search for allies. They then confront each other across a table, hurling accusations before voting to evict one contestant. It's such a rip-off of other games, Anne Robinson and Claudia Winkleman could probably sue.
But the mood of awkward suspicion changed to one of delight and disbelief when they were challenged to guess what each other did for a living. Bob-haired, silk-bloused Melissa, 48, who apparently studied at Oxford alongside Liz Truss, revealed she's worked as a dominatrix for the past 20 years, 'spanking naughty bottoms . . . and I love it'. Waving a cat o'nine tails, she said, 'This is one of my favourite floggers. It's suede, very soft and sensuous.'
The game was forgotten as everyone was agog to know more. 'Do you make them do tasks?' asked practically minded Ella, 20. 'I have so many slaves lining up to clean my house, do my garden, do my accounts,' Melissa said. Now that's clever.
Another English word beginning with 'F' made an appearance as old Etonian John, a retired banker, excused himself from the contest after scoring no correct answers for an entire day. Thanking Danny and Emily, he announced he'd had 'Such f***ing good fun.' An expression of schoolboyish worry flickered across his face. 'Are we allowed to say that?' In a Danny Dyer show? I think it's obligatory.
