Daily Star's agony aunt Jane O'Gorman is here to help with your problems. Write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Note: Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Mixed Messages: Friend's Hidden Sexuality
A reader is furious after discovering their best friend is gay. The friend was seen kissing a woman in a club and later said, 'You've always known I'm gay, right?' The reader had no idea, as the friend had previously pretended to have boyfriends and even a teenage wedding to please her mother. Now that her mother has passed, the friend is out, but the reader feels betrayed and wonders why the friend never told the truth or tried to start a relationship with them.
Jane O'Gorman advises that the friend may have had a difficult home life with her mother. She suggests the reader may be jealous of the friend's new relationship. 'Keep talking to her. Let her know that you are still struggling to come to terms with her revelation and get her to reassure you that you love and respect her and still have an important place in her life.' Jane adds that the reader might simply not be the friend's sexual type.
The Joker: Brother's Freeloading
Another reader is tired of their brother, who can't hold down a job and always expects the reader to buy drinks. The brother is a practical joker and popular with friends, but the reader is struggling with debt and loans. The brother has also started cadging off cousins. Despite being told to get a job, he laughs it off.
Jane O'Gorman advises taking a proactive approach: 'Why don't you, he and your cousins all get together and tackle this? Ask him about his confidence, his issues and his passions. Work out the kind of work he could do. Check job websites and see if you know anyone who could give him work experience or a helping hand.' She also urges the reader to stop enabling the brother and to take their own debts seriously.
