Shirley Ballas, the renowned ballroom and Latin dancer and Strictly Come Dancing judge, opens up about her life and her unbreakable bond with her mother, Audrey. In a candid conversation, the duo shares memories of tough love, resilience, and living together in London.
Shirley's Recollection: A Slap That Silenced Tears
Shirley recalls a moment on a Hawaiian cruise: "I was coming out of a relationship and kept whining about it. At breakfast one morning, I was crying, so she smacked me round the face. You bet your life I shut up after that. That's old-school parenting, right there."
Growing up in Wallasey after her parents divorced when she was two, Shirley learned self-reliance early. "It was just my mum, myself and my brother. Nobody had much, but there was community. Mum worked a lot, so we learned to cook, shop, and keep house. To this day, I like everything orderly."
Her love for dance sparked at age seven when she saw people dancing the cha-cha-cha in a church hall. "I went home to tell my mother, who said, 'OK, if you want to do it, you'll take the classes.' She worked multiple jobs so I could pursue it. Watching her as a single mother was inspiring — she taught me the harder you work, the more successful you are."
At 14, Shirley left home to live with her first dance partner's family, despite her mother's doubts. "Mum thought I'd be back after six weeks, but I stayed until I was 16. She gave good advice, but I didn't always listen. She told me not to get married. I first married at 18, then again at 22. Neither lasted."
Before Strictly, Shirley faced bullying in the male-dominated dance coaching world. "For 10 years, I was mistreated by men at the top. I considered changing careers. Now, I don't get picked on so much because I have a profile. If I'd been happy, I might not have gone for Strictly, so it worked out."
In 2022, her mother was diagnosed with COPD. "I had no idea what that meant — lung conditions causing breathlessness. I've seen her coughing so much she chokes. She's stubborn — doesn't use an inhaler and still smokes. She'll be 90 next year and says, 'Don't tell me what to eat or not to smoke.' She's in remission from cancer and still looks healthy. Every morning I ask how she is, and she replies, 'I'm still breathing.'"
Shirley treasures their time together. "I couldn't imagine life without her. She plans her funeral — wants 'Knees Up Mother Brown' and insists no one buys their own drinks. After filming Strictly on Saturdays, she waits in her pink dressing gown. I can tell by her face if she agrees with my comments. She makes me tea and gives her verdict."
Despite her mother's strictness and brutal honesty, Shirley says, "She's my rock. She sacrificed a lot for my dance career. She once told me, 'I guess I backed the right horse.'"
Audrey's Perspective: Tough Love and Independence
Audrey recalls the Hawaiian cruise: "We brought a friend, and she and I went to the bar every night, but Shirley would be in her cabin crying. It got old, so I thought: what if I just smack her?"
She remembers Shirley as a crying baby who wasn't a good traveller. "As she got older, she became conscientious — always wanted to be the best. For her eighth birthday, we had a singing competition, and I picked her friend as winner. Shirley had a massive tantrum."
Audrey worked extra jobs — bar work, nightclubs, cabarets, babysitting, even driving a forklift — to support Shirley's dancing. "I brought up my children without their father, and I was thrilled when I got divorced. Most people would cry, but I got on with it. I could make my own decisions."
On her COPD diagnosis, Audrey says, "I thought: it's fine. I'll survive. I kept smoking. You're only here once, so do what makes you happy."
She describes Shirley as "headstrong and a busy bee. I'm very proud of her. Very proud indeed."
