Jessie Buckley Shares Candid Account of Teenage Mental Health Struggles
Irish actress Jessie Buckley has spoken openly about her profound teenage struggles with an eating disorder and depression, revealing how her deep passion for music and theatre ultimately became instrumental in her recovery. The 36-year-old Killarney native shared these deeply personal experiences during a recent appearance on BBC Radio 4's Desert Island Discs, though she chose not to specify the exact nature of her eating disorder.
Transforming Vulnerability Through Artistic Expression
"I had an eating disorder, and it took time, and it took a lot of help, and also it was depression," Buckley told host Lauren Laverne during the emotional interview. She reflected thoughtfully on this challenging period of her life, stating: "I didn't know how to be alive the way I wanted to be, and it was difficult, but I do not for a second regret it, and I think I've been able to transform it and recognise our vulnerabilities as humans in the world."
The acclaimed actress, who recently won multiple awards for her portrayal of Agnes Hathaway in the film adaptation of Maggie O'Farrell's novel Hamnet, emphasised the crucial importance of transforming difficult experiences. "You know, you can't walk through life not being affected, but you can transform that into something that allows you to be more human and alive in the way that you want to be," she explained with conviction.
Therapeutic Support and Artistic Salvation
Buckley expressed profound gratitude for the support system that helped her through these challenges, revealing: "And I'm very grateful for everybody who helped me along the way with that, and for the people who held space for that... I've been in therapy since I was 17, I still go every week." She highlighted how acting became "essential" for her wellbeing, describing it as "like water to me" and recounting an incident where her appendix "almost burst" during an early performance, yet she refused to leave until the play concluded.
Her struggles persisted even after relocating to London to pursue her career. "When I moved to London, I still wasn't out of the woods," she explained candidly. "I think there were moments where I was like, 'if I don't get better here, this music, this being part of theatre – I'm not going to be able to do this any more, and I probably won't survive'." This stark realisation became a turning point: "And that was the thing that turned it in my head, I was like, 'I don't want to sacrifice that, this is bigger than that', and won."
Reflections on Early Career Pressures
The actress also looked back on her time on the BBC talent show I'd Do Anything, which launched her into the public eye during its search for an actor to play Nancy in a West End production of Oliver!. She had previously spoken to British Vogue in January about facing criticism regarding her appearance during the show.
Speaking to Laverne, Buckley reiterated her discomfort with that period: "I don't like that part of it. I think that was a young woman who's trying to discover her body and herself, like we all do. And I wish that hadn't happened." She felt pressured to conform to industry expectations: "I think I was putting a brave face on, because really what I wanted to do was sing and I wanted to act, and I wanted to be part of this industry, and all of a sudden you had to be a certain kind of person. And I just wasn't, I never will be. That's just not me." Despite these challenges, she expressed pride in her younger self: "I'm so proud of that girl. I think she did great and I don't regret any of it."
Family Support and Emotional Connections
Buckley spoke fondly of her "extraordinary" mother, Marina, who lives in Dublin. "My parents are no longer together, and she lives in Dublin, and she's writing her own story right now at 60 years of age, and I'm so proud of her," she shared emotionally, choosing a rendition of her mother singing O Holy Night as her first song selection for the program.
The full Desert Island Discs episode featuring Jessie Buckley's revealing interview will be available on BBC Sounds and BBC Radio 4 from Sunday at 10am, offering listeners further insight into her journey from teenage struggles to acclaimed actress.
