A Mother's Wisdom: Treating Children as Lifelong Companions
In the early 1990s, Morwenna shared a close bond with her mother, captured in nostalgic photos that reflect a unique parenting approach. Her mother's best advice, though not intended as formal guidance, was to talk to her children as if they were old friends. This philosophy stemmed from her experience as a divorced parent, often on her own, who took her daughters to galleries, supermarkets, and work, treating them as companions in everyday life.
The Impact of Childhood Conversations
From a young age, Morwenna and her sister listened to their mother discuss both big and small matters, fostering an incredibly close relationship that lasted until her mother's death in August 2020. As preschoolers, they absorbed these conversations much like Tom Hanks' volleyball Wilson in Cast Away, providing silent but attentive companionship. This dynamic created a foundation of emotional intimacy that Morwenna now reflects upon as she navigates her own parenting journey.
Applying the Advice to Modern Parenthood
Now a mother of two sons, Morwenna acknowledges that her decision to have children was subtly influenced by her mother's words, though she emphasizes that not having children would have been equally valid. She recognizes the differences in their eras: her mother's primary desire was motherhood, while Morwenna sought a broader family experience in a world marked by environmental concerns and instability. Despite these contrasts, the core idea of treating children as companions resonates deeply.
The Complexities of Parent-Child Friendships
In practice, Morwenna finds that her sons challenge her in ways friends never do, demanding immense time, exploiting her weaknesses, and incurring significant costs. Yet, they also bring unparalleled fulfillment and love, sometimes to an embarrassing degree. She suggests that companionship might be a more accurate term than friendship, as it captures the nuanced blend of support and conflict inherent in family relationships.
Beyond Economic and Environmental Debates
While discussions about parenthood often focus on economic and environmental factors, Morwenna highlights the instinctual and emotional drivers behind her choice. The curiosity of sharing life's journey—from holidays to heated arguments—with someone you hope to reconcile with adds a profound layer to the parenting experience. She stresses that friendship alone is not a reason to have children, but her mother's advice ultimately served as a testament to love rather than a directive.
A Legacy of Love and Understanding
As her sons grow and assert their independence, Morwenna interprets her mother's words as a description of their evolving adult relationship. It was never about dictating life choices but expressing deep affection. This reflection underscores the enduring power of parental bonds, shaped by open communication and mutual respect, offering a heartfelt perspective on family dynamics in an ever-changing world.
