The concept of dating 'out of your league' is a myth, argues Oscar Rickett in a new piece. Drawing on the Netflix show Love, co-created by Judd Apatow, Rickett notes that the female protagonist Mickey, played by Gillian Jacobs, is conventionally more attractive than her love interests, yet this goes unacknowledged. He contends that human desire is idiosyncratic and cannot be reduced to leagues.
Rickett acknowledges that attraction is conditioned by society, including problematic power dynamics around race. However, he insists that individual desire often overrides societal norms. The commodification of love and sex, particularly through dating apps, has strengthened the league mentality, encouraging users to select partners like products. Apps like Raya and The League explicitly promote exclusivity based on social status and Instagram following.
The market philosophy extends to 'sugar daddy' relationships on sites like SeekingArrangement, where older men pay younger women for companionship. Rickett argues this is a form of prostitution rebranded as modern love. He concludes that we are the keepers of our own value, not the market, and that league thinking can prevent us from pursuing genuine desire or cause unnecessary self-doubt after a breakup.
