Judith Lucy's Melbourne Rental Ordeal: A Comedian's Housing Horror Story
Beloved Australian comedian Judith Lucy has publicly shared her distressing experiences within Melbourne's notoriously challenging rental market. In a candid Instagram video posted this week, the 57-year-old entertainer described a living situation so dire it has left her without electricity and physically trapped inside her own home.
The "House of Sh*t": A Catalogue of Disasters
'I am living in a rental that I like to refer to as The House of Sh*t,' Lucy declared in the revealing clip. She detailed a relentless series of malfunctions and breakdowns that have plagued her since moving in just over a year ago.
'Since moving in here just over a year ago, I've had the plumber here I think four or five times – Tom – we're on a first-name basis,' she explained, highlighting the frequency of repairs. One particularly surreal incident involved her toilet. 'At one point he came around because my toilet cistern pulled away from the wall and was at such a bizarre angle that every time you went to p**s, it was like you're in a Salvador Dali painting.'
The problems extended far beyond plumbing. A power point recently exploded, and during a simple act of self-care, part of her living room wall gave way. 'One evening I was massaging my lower back with a very small ball against my living room wall – part of it just collapsed.'
Doors, Locks, and a Complete Power Loss
Lucy's account continued with a rapid-fire list of failures. 'In the space of a week, my friend Michelle knocked on the door – that just came off in her hand,' she said, holding up a completely rusted door knocker. 'Then the lock came off the front gate, then the front fell off the kitchen drawer.'
The situation reached a critical point last week when she found herself imprisoned in her own home. 'I went to leave my home and couldn't because the front flywire door was jammed. So I couldn't leave my own home through the front door for three days.'
A final, frustrating blow came when she attempted to repair her washing machine, only to discover a more fundamental issue. 'Last Friday, I made the mistake of getting someone around to fix my washing machine – there was nothing wrong with my washing machine, there's just no longer any electricity in my laundry.'
Gratitude Amidst Crisis and a Humorous Retreat
Despite the litany of issues, Lucy concluded by acknowledging the severe context of Australia's ongoing housing crisis, insisting she was 'grateful to be living anywhere'. However, she couldn't resist a darkly comedic suggestion for an alternative. She joked that she was 'considering moving into a small chest of drawers that was left on the footpath because I think it could be safer'.
Background: A Farewell to Stand-Up
This rental struggle comes after Lucy's significant career announcement in 2022, when she retired from stand-up comedy after 35 prolific years. She stated she was 'done' with the constant travel, wanting to prioritise other life aspects.
'I started doing comedy before I lost my virginity,' she told ABC Everyday. 'Houses, boyfriends, friendships and my hymen have all come and gone. But not my job of getting up on stage and telling jokes into a microphone. Until (drum roll) now.'
The veteran of The Late Show cited unhappiness and anxiety driven by the job as key reasons for leaving the lucrative circuit, though she plans to continue writing and performing in other capacities. She expressed regret that her career had potentially cost her a more conventional personal life.
'For years I'd beaten myself up about the habits I'd used to numb myself, whether it was drinking, smoking, dope or watching hours of mindless TV,' Lucy reflected. 'But I'd never asked myself why I did those things. The answer was to cope with the anxiety of my job.'
Lucy rose to fame on ABC's The Late Show in 1993, earned an ARIA nomination for her album King of the Road in 1998, became a staple on Rove in the 2000s, and later featured on The Weekly with Charlie Pickering. Her current housing woes present a stark, unfunny contrast to her celebrated life in comedy.
